Let me start off by first saying that this year I feel like has been the most memorable, exciting, important, learning, painful, favorite, and meaningful year yet. I not only learned a lot about myself but about life, about what I want to go after but most of all I feel like I am actually starting to open my eyes. Open my eyes to who I am, to who other people are, to what I’m living for, to what I’m seeking in the distance and to just, the WORLD.
The year didn’t start off that promising, I think I was confused about something but at the same time not sure what I was confused about. I feel like I kept looking for something but not really sure what I was looking for and knowing that I would never truly find it. Maybe I just felt like apart of me was missing or maybe I was just trying to figure out who I was.
The year started out with a new riding barn, starling’s volleyball and the second semester of my sophomore year. It ended with jumping horses, del sol volleyball club and the start of junior year, it can only go up hill from here.
As a litlle side note I would also like to add that I made my high school varsity volleyball team again at the beginning of my junior year as well as last school year.
As always there is all the little in betweens that happen from start to finish. I would say that the in betweens would be from March to October, an 8-month period.
I would say Starlings would have to be the start of my amazing year. Not only did I make new friends but I also got closer to some old team mates. There is one person in particular from starlings that made a huge difference. Her name is Melissa, she was not only my starlings coach but also my neighbor, friend and role model. Lets put it this way she could be anything when I needed her to be, she had different roles in my life but, most of all she was real and brought me back on my feet. Not only did she make a huge impact on me but I hope that I had the same effect on her.
I have made some pretty amazing friends this year along with getting closer to my already close friends. I have always spend my time with adults a little more then kids my own age. This year I can definitely say that I have spent more time with kids my own age. It was a good change for me and I don’t know what I could do without my amazing friends. There always their for me know matter what the situation is.
Shannon, I met this year and she is already my best friend she can make me laugh no matter what just because of all the silly things she does. Bella, old acquaintances but new best friends, she is not afraid to give me a slap in the face every once in a while but she reminds me who I am while doing it. We (Shannon, Bella and I) turned in to mermaids this year, it defiantly showed a big part of how much I have evolved. Abi, well well well I can surly say we have gotten closer this year and is probably the craziest person I know, in a good way. Amber, we have been friends since middle school and I know we had our ups and downs this year but she knows more about me then anyone. All these beautiful ladies are like sisters to me, I couldn’t even possible imagine my life without them.
School has always been very comfortable for me especially at HTH. School the past year has been great well, better then the years before. There is this amazing women named Rachel who has helped me with a lot more than just school work. She has taught me so so so much, I would not be where I am today without her. This year I feel like I actually took what she was telling me for the past two years and started listening to it and started to change. She is amazing and beautiful and if I had to sum her up in one word I would chose, hero.
One of the highlights of this year for me was going to New York for my auntie Erins surprise party. I love it there so much, I could spend the whole day just walking around especially when there is just a light snowfall. My auntie Erin never fails to surprise me, if its from singing and dancing together or just to a simple talk. Even though she is so far away she is always close in my heart, she just doesn’t listen to what I have to say but she understands what im trying to say. She is an amazing women and i look up to her so much, she is a role model. She is the who i blame for teaching me to "charge it" on a regular basis (probably the best life skill and lesson i have ever learned to date hehe) - my shopping addiction is all due to her. Im so thankful that she has been in my life ever sense I was born, I love her tons.
This year I have also gotten a lot close to my aunt Angie and Christi. When I was younger my aunt Angie and I would hang out all the time, she was the only house I would sleepover at. This year we have regained our relationship, and I value it a lot. I love whenever Im around her we just have a blast and do crazy things. She makes me feel beautiful especially when we do photo shoots. Now Christi was introduced to me a couple years ago and she IS SO COOL! Until this year I didn’t know her that well but after we did a couple girl gatherings that problem was fixed. I love her millions and billions because she is so easy to talk to, she teaches me things and we always have a good time. We always talk, yeah through the phone and internet but we like to send letters to each other, which I love because its so unoriginal theses days. I look up to her sooo much, she is like a big sister.
Overall this year has been both terribly pain full and amazingly wonderful. There is so many amazing people in my life and I can not tell you how much I love them and are thankful for them. I’m scared, excited, curious, anxious and nervous about what next year has in store, what my future has in store.
Happy New Year!!!
-Maddy Rae
Dec 24, 2010
Dec 23, 2010
Putting the cookies on the stove
Last night i was at a neighbor hood holiday party, i only went to see this one neighbor who i absolutely adore (she's amazing, and does amazing things and is just a fascinating person inside and out) unfortunately she couldn't make it. I mingled a little bit and was about to go home until i started talking to our neighbor wendy, i havn't seen much of her let alone get to know her. We talked about collage and my future a lot, she really opened my eyes on the subject. Having her be excited for me made me excited for me. She put reality on solid ground for me and was very humbling. She faces the facts and doesn't lie she tells it how it is. This was nice for me because i havnt had anyone (besides maybe horses and rachel the teacher in the recourse room) put me back on earth, back on solid ground since my friend moved.
I really like wendy she's super nice and comforting and i feel like that she wont lie and just wants the best for me. She is excited for my future and says that its an adventure. That i can live anywhere i want for four years and pick any path i want to take, and that there are a million paths and if i don't like the one i pick there is always a left and right to choose from. She says that i can always change my future and choose it but it is all up to me, I HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN- no one else can do it for me.
I definitely will be knocking at her door soon to catch up or to "put cookies on the stove" as she would say it.
Love, Maddy Rae
I really like wendy she's super nice and comforting and i feel like that she wont lie and just wants the best for me. She is excited for my future and says that its an adventure. That i can live anywhere i want for four years and pick any path i want to take, and that there are a million paths and if i don't like the one i pick there is always a left and right to choose from. She says that i can always change my future and choose it but it is all up to me, I HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN- no one else can do it for me.
I definitely will be knocking at her door soon to catch up or to "put cookies on the stove" as she would say it.
Love, Maddy Rae
Dec 7, 2010
Wrapping Up the Year- Literally!
HOLY MOLY!!!
This year has gone by sooo sooo sooo fast! - i cant believe it.
Ive been busy, so thats why i havnt posted in a while, things have been hectic with school (last minute projects and homework), i just made the del sol volleyball club team so thats been a busy start and as always everything in between!- ohh and of course christmas shopping!
I got my compendium package today that i ordered. I ordered some really cute cards for my teachers and friends that im going to give at the end of the school year, i got a book called BE for myself to inspire me on those days im down and i got a little book called HERO for the recourse room lady Rachel at my school. She has helped me so much over the past three years and i COULD NOT be where i am today without her. She has helped me from school work to just life in general and believed in me before i did. She is a true hero.
Well i have to go do honors and math homework and send auntie a my schedule for the next couple weeks so we can eventually get together cause i miss her tons!!!!
hope all of you are not behind on your holiday shopping ;) hehe
<3 maddy rae
This year has gone by sooo sooo sooo fast! - i cant believe it.
Ive been busy, so thats why i havnt posted in a while, things have been hectic with school (last minute projects and homework), i just made the del sol volleyball club team so thats been a busy start and as always everything in between!- ohh and of course christmas shopping!
I got my compendium package today that i ordered. I ordered some really cute cards for my teachers and friends that im going to give at the end of the school year, i got a book called BE for myself to inspire me on those days im down and i got a little book called HERO for the recourse room lady Rachel at my school. She has helped me so much over the past three years and i COULD NOT be where i am today without her. She has helped me from school work to just life in general and believed in me before i did. She is a true hero.
Well i have to go do honors and math homework and send auntie a my schedule for the next couple weeks so we can eventually get together cause i miss her tons!!!!
hope all of you are not behind on your holiday shopping ;) hehe
<3 maddy rae
Nov 26, 2010
hmmm...
i love how my parents will pay for a 2,000 dollar volleyball club but they wont pay for me to ride twice a week...
hmmmm....
hmmmm....
Nov 24, 2010
Nov 17, 2010
is true love true?
"You know you truly love somebody when they hurt you so badly, but all you can think about it is the times when they made you smile."
True love.
When true love first comes to mind people often think about there 'soul mate' or the person there dating, engaged to or married to. When true love pops in my mind i don't just think about spouses or couples i think about the people in my life just in general.
I truly believe true love doesn't have to be with a spouse or boyfriend but it can be with you best friends or sister or somebody your really close too.
True love to me means:
-if theres anything you need, you only have to let them know
-they have a shoulder you can lean on
-you can call them at 2am and they will rush out of bed over to your side
-you can put your fears in their pocket and you'll know they wont let them escape
-they are completely real and honest with you
-they keep there promises and stick to there word
-they know exactly what your feeling no matter how hard you try to hide it from the world
-When you think about them they just warm your heart
-but most of all, always there for you no matter what happens
What does it mean to you?
-maddy
True love.
When true love first comes to mind people often think about there 'soul mate' or the person there dating, engaged to or married to. When true love pops in my mind i don't just think about spouses or couples i think about the people in my life just in general.
I truly believe true love doesn't have to be with a spouse or boyfriend but it can be with you best friends or sister or somebody your really close too.
True love to me means:
-if theres anything you need, you only have to let them know
-they have a shoulder you can lean on
-you can call them at 2am and they will rush out of bed over to your side
-you can put your fears in their pocket and you'll know they wont let them escape
-they are completely real and honest with you
-they keep there promises and stick to there word
-they know exactly what your feeling no matter how hard you try to hide it from the world
-When you think about them they just warm your heart
-but most of all, always there for you no matter what happens
What does it mean to you?
-maddy
Nov 9, 2010
i never told you
okay guys here is my version to i never told you by colbie caillat... please ignore the horrid singing, the un tuned guitar and the fact that i havnt played in a while! im learning some taylor swift songs at the moment which i promise you are a lot better, i will share soon!
- here you go christi, im only doing this for you! love you tons! <3
(i hope the video works-tell me if it doesn't)
- maddy rae
- here you go christi, im only doing this for you! love you tons! <3
(i hope the video works-tell me if it doesn't)
- maddy rae
Nov 8, 2010
Possible Careers
Recently I have been in a phase thinking that i want to be a coroner or a chief medical examiner. Believe it our no these two careers are very separate things.
Coroner: a coroner is usually elected depending on what county your in, it is a investigator who investigates crime scenes not due to a natural cause of death. They determine weather the body needs a further autopsy or can determine the cause of death right on the spot.
Medical Examiner: Does the autopsies on the body, determining the cause of death due to forensic evidence. Medical Examiners are usably pathologist also. In some counties the medical examiner and the coroner are the same person and does both jobs.
I want to be a coroner and the chief medical examiner, double duty!
Im hoping this isn't just a phase and i will actually stay interested in this and pursue it!
it will be tons of hard work!
<3maddy rae
Coroner: a coroner is usually elected depending on what county your in, it is a investigator who investigates crime scenes not due to a natural cause of death. They determine weather the body needs a further autopsy or can determine the cause of death right on the spot.
Medical Examiner: Does the autopsies on the body, determining the cause of death due to forensic evidence. Medical Examiners are usably pathologist also. In some counties the medical examiner and the coroner are the same person and does both jobs.
I want to be a coroner and the chief medical examiner, double duty!
Im hoping this isn't just a phase and i will actually stay interested in this and pursue it!
it will be tons of hard work!
<3maddy rae
Nov 5, 2010
Horse Falling
Last sunday i was at the barn attempting probably the most difficult jump i have attempted yet. The first time i went to go for it my horse dodged it so, i went again. I kept a more firm hold on my horses face and slowed down his pace. At the last moment when i thought she was going to go over the fence, i got into my two point and gave a little rein. Just as i thought she was about to jump over it, she dodged it and i fell off landing on the fence and crashing it down. It was my first fall while jumping. I bruised my calf and the next couple of days i was hopping around school. Of course patty my instructor made me get back on the horse again and attempt the same jump but this time trotting it, i was scared and did the jump but it wasn't the prettiest sight ever. The point is i got back on and attempted it again. This sunday i have my first lesson since the fall and let me tell you im still a little nervous!
Positive thoughts!
<3 maddy rae!
Positive thoughts!
<3 maddy rae!
Oct 28, 2010
Three Things Thursdays!
one.
I ABSOLUTELY love the new taylor swift cd: speak now. If you havnt checked it out yet, i defiantly recommend it. I love innocent, back to december, enchanted and haunted.
two.
So for the past couple days i have been really frustrated and feeling like even if i put everything i have into something, its not good enough. Today i talked to one of the "teachers" about it and i said i was frustrated because i had this whole new outlook on life at the beginning of the school year (hence the new blog) but, now i feel like that mentality has just slipped away. She has been there for me especially through my really tough time in freshman year. She told me that when somebody goes through that tough time its hard to get rid of the negative thoughts- somehow they just keep finding there way back into our mind after a while. She said she went through the same thing and read this book called "You can heal your life" by: louise hay and said that this book changed her life. I want to read it and see what happens.
three.
I have a big biology exam tomorrow! Im not as confident as i was on the first one but im going to give it my best! Off to study.
Wish me luck!
-Madison
I ABSOLUTELY love the new taylor swift cd: speak now. If you havnt checked it out yet, i defiantly recommend it. I love innocent, back to december, enchanted and haunted.
two.
So for the past couple days i have been really frustrated and feeling like even if i put everything i have into something, its not good enough. Today i talked to one of the "teachers" about it and i said i was frustrated because i had this whole new outlook on life at the beginning of the school year (hence the new blog) but, now i feel like that mentality has just slipped away. She has been there for me especially through my really tough time in freshman year. She told me that when somebody goes through that tough time its hard to get rid of the negative thoughts- somehow they just keep finding there way back into our mind after a while. She said she went through the same thing and read this book called "You can heal your life" by: louise hay and said that this book changed her life. I want to read it and see what happens.
three.
I have a big biology exam tomorrow! Im not as confident as i was on the first one but im going to give it my best! Off to study.
Wish me luck!
-Madison
Oct 20, 2010
these WITH that
these shoes:
that bag:
I have always had an eye on the steve madden shoes, then i came across the steve madden bag- from there on i fell in love.
What can i say, i am a madden girl and i just love the color.
-Maddy Rae
with
that bag:
I have always had an eye on the steve madden shoes, then i came across the steve madden bag- from there on i fell in love.
What can i say, i am a madden girl and i just love the color.
-Maddy Rae
Oct 15, 2010
The girl with the braid in her hair.
Last night i saw a little girl at the barn. She wouldn't leave the barn until she gave her favorite horse a cookie. The little girl with the braid in her hair, covered in dirt from her cheeks to her riding chaps. As the sun disappeared and the glow of the moon lit the dark sky her father got impatient. He knew she could stay there all night if he let her.
Once she finished giving nemo a cookie she knew her father was getting more and more impatient as seconds ticked by. She kissed the horse and raced back breathing in the fresh air; with her braid swinging back in forth with the strides of her legs. Feeling free for those last couple seconds with nothing on her mind, feeling complete.
As she opened the car door and stepped inside the little girl disappeared and the 16 year old formed. Before she left the little girl told the 16 year old "I'll be waiting here, waiting for the day where you come back to where you belong." Looking out that window as they drove off she waited for the litle girl to comeback sometime soon. When they got farther and farther away the rush of life kept flowing in consuming the 16 year old with all her fears, wonders, and questions.
-Maddy Rae
Once she finished giving nemo a cookie she knew her father was getting more and more impatient as seconds ticked by. She kissed the horse and raced back breathing in the fresh air; with her braid swinging back in forth with the strides of her legs. Feeling free for those last couple seconds with nothing on her mind, feeling complete.
As she opened the car door and stepped inside the little girl disappeared and the 16 year old formed. Before she left the little girl told the 16 year old "I'll be waiting here, waiting for the day where you come back to where you belong." Looking out that window as they drove off she waited for the litle girl to comeback sometime soon. When they got farther and farther away the rush of life kept flowing in consuming the 16 year old with all her fears, wonders, and questions.
-Maddy Rae
Oct 14, 2010
Three Things Thursdays!
One. Today High Tech High Varsity volleyball team beat the team Maranatha (lady angles) 3-1. It has been the game we have been preparing for all season (we haven't beat them in 5 YEARS!) Even though we have a couple games left in league play beating them basically means we won league, meaning we get to go to finals (CIF)!!!!
Two. I got three comments today from classmates that i looked like a teacher. Does this look like a teacher?
Except with a little different blue stripped shirt and a little differentbelt but the same idea...tucked in and cute sandals on. I take looking like a teacher a complement- to me it means that i look mature and collected.
Three. I don't know what it is but, i could of went to bed at 8 tonight... im extremely tired, maybe its just all my hard work ;)
-Maddy Rae <3
Two. I got three comments today from classmates that i looked like a teacher. Does this look like a teacher?
Except with a little different blue stripped shirt and a little differentbelt but the same idea...tucked in and cute sandals on. I take looking like a teacher a complement- to me it means that i look mature and collected.
Three. I don't know what it is but, i could of went to bed at 8 tonight... im extremely tired, maybe its just all my hard work ;)
-Maddy Rae <3
Oct 12, 2010
Inspiration from Jillian
I was watching biggest loser tonight and something Jillian said stuck out to me. For those of you who don't know what biggest loser is, is its a show where people loose weight, learn who they are, and how to live life (to start over). Its not just a place to get on the right track but its also a GAME. There competeting each week to not get the lowest percentage of weight loss in result of getting kicked off or voted off. In the end who ever is the biggest loser wins whatever amount of money. If you don't watch the show you also don't know who or what Jillian is. Jillian is one of the trainers along with Bob.
I've always admired Jillian for her straight forward- ness (if that is even a word). She's tough and scary but she does that because she cares (I'll admit that she has even made me jump in my seat through the tv). Though i have never struggled with a weight problem personally, some of the things she says on the show is very inspiring to me. Tonight she said; "The more you push, the more you stuff, the more you stack, the more you suffocate." I have never thought of it this way but it got me thinking, Jillian is right - the more you keep things compressed inside the harder it is to breathe everyday and sooner or later, somehow your going to have to take a breath.
I guess this was how i was feeling for the past couple of years and, i recently realized that i don't want to live my life gasping for air all the time.
Thanks Jillian for the inspiration, your a true role model!- in everything you do! =)
-Maddy Rae
I've always admired Jillian for her straight forward- ness (if that is even a word). She's tough and scary but she does that because she cares (I'll admit that she has even made me jump in my seat through the tv). Though i have never struggled with a weight problem personally, some of the things she says on the show is very inspiring to me. Tonight she said; "The more you push, the more you stuff, the more you stack, the more you suffocate." I have never thought of it this way but it got me thinking, Jillian is right - the more you keep things compressed inside the harder it is to breathe everyday and sooner or later, somehow your going to have to take a breath.
I guess this was how i was feeling for the past couple of years and, i recently realized that i don't want to live my life gasping for air all the time.
Thanks Jillian for the inspiration, your a true role model!- in everything you do! =)
-Maddy Rae
Oct 11, 2010
A New Me
This week for me was breath taking.
My view on my life completely changed... and i have no idea what changed it.
This week i figured out what i actually might want to be when i grow up and along with that who i want to become. This is a new adventure and new Maddy Rae.
Maybe even a permeant Maddy Rae.
Lets find out!
-Maddy Rae
P.s- Don't forget to read about chapter one ( the blog i did before this one) at http://mis4maddy.blogspot.com/
My view on my life completely changed... and i have no idea what changed it.
This week i figured out what i actually might want to be when i grow up and along with that who i want to become. This is a new adventure and new Maddy Rae.
Maybe even a permeant Maddy Rae.
Lets find out!
-Maddy Rae
P.s- Don't forget to read about chapter one ( the blog i did before this one) at http://mis4maddy.blogspot.com/
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