So i decided my book is back on.... im going to start writing it again. Not sure at the moment what its going to be about, i am just mainly writing about thoughts that cross my mind or things i observer or experience in my life.
Here is a little bit of what i have written. Its just my thoughts on an observation i made on someone about what i thought they were worried about, i don't know if its necessarily right but its just what i think.
*Lets both stop pretending nothings wrong. Admit it, your scared. Scared that once he grows up, you wont be there for him. You have worked your whole life in becoming where you are now. Your doctor’s credential is your world and you would do anything to keep it, you can’t give it up. Even for a baby that you have worked hard to develop. Your scared that you will be so busy at work, doing what you live for that your baby will grow up hating you. Hating you because you’re never around to be there for him. But truth is, it might be for the better.*
More to come!
Goodnight! - tomorrow i have a coffee date and mini photo shoot planned with aunt angie, should be fun- ill let you know how it goes! :)
- Madison
Aug 10, 2011
Aug 3, 2011
Love you to the northern star and back!
A lot of my friends tell me that they think I was very deprived as a child. They all think this because, things they grew up with as a child I have never heard of. Okay, maybe i didn't really know who the Beatles were until two years ago, hadn't seen most of the Disney movies till 9th grade and left an au-digraph from John Travulta on a table because i didn't think he was anyone important. I disagree with my friends, i think its just because i was an only child, surrounded by adults all the time which forced me to grow up, and grow up fast. I will admit i feel like i get along better with adults than kids my own age.
I always try to get close to the people i look up to the most. For example my old volleyball coach, she was an amazing woman. We did get really close, went running all the time, grabbed coffee and told each other everything. Then she moved and we don't have the same relationship. I guess what im trying to say is even though i would still like to be close to her, i don't want to say she doesn't, its just like she has a completely different life. Yes, i do try to keep in touch with her and even though i want things to go back to normal i know they wont. I always try to get close to people who not necessarily don't care about me but don't really have the time, instead of actually getting more close to the people who want to be closer to me.
There is this amazing, brilliant most trust worthy woman who i know is always supporting me who i call Aunt Angie. I have known her ever since i was a little girl, her house was the only house i could sleepover at until i was 13. Anyways, she always has my back and ALWAYS makes it a priority to find away to hangout and catch up with each others lives. She always cares about me and she always checks up on me. A while back i never truly realized that i have been trying so hard to get really close to someone i look up to, like my volleyball coach and my neighbor chelsea, when i already had someone i looked up to and we were already close. I spent all this time trying to get close to someone else when i already had someone i trusted and i knew they cared about me. So i realize now that i already have that one person, so instead of trying to spend my time with people i would like to know better why not spend it with the one person i just want to get even closer with, aunt angle!
Aunt angle, thanks for always caring and making sure to stay in my life...... i alway appreciate you checking up on me and your random texts! I love that we can just go hangout, and tell each other everything. I also love all the things we do, there all so different and fun, from photo shoots, having smores and talking at the hilton (which we did tonight) to blasting music in the car and singing to our song (the best day). I know i can always go to you with anything thats on my mind or just have a girl day. Love you to the northern star and back!
-Maddy Rae <3
I always try to get close to the people i look up to the most. For example my old volleyball coach, she was an amazing woman. We did get really close, went running all the time, grabbed coffee and told each other everything. Then she moved and we don't have the same relationship. I guess what im trying to say is even though i would still like to be close to her, i don't want to say she doesn't, its just like she has a completely different life. Yes, i do try to keep in touch with her and even though i want things to go back to normal i know they wont. I always try to get close to people who not necessarily don't care about me but don't really have the time, instead of actually getting more close to the people who want to be closer to me.
There is this amazing, brilliant most trust worthy woman who i know is always supporting me who i call Aunt Angie. I have known her ever since i was a little girl, her house was the only house i could sleepover at until i was 13. Anyways, she always has my back and ALWAYS makes it a priority to find away to hangout and catch up with each others lives. She always cares about me and she always checks up on me. A while back i never truly realized that i have been trying so hard to get really close to someone i look up to, like my volleyball coach and my neighbor chelsea, when i already had someone i looked up to and we were already close. I spent all this time trying to get close to someone else when i already had someone i trusted and i knew they cared about me. So i realize now that i already have that one person, so instead of trying to spend my time with people i would like to know better why not spend it with the one person i just want to get even closer with, aunt angle!
Aunt angle, thanks for always caring and making sure to stay in my life...... i alway appreciate you checking up on me and your random texts! I love that we can just go hangout, and tell each other everything. I also love all the things we do, there all so different and fun, from photo shoots, having smores and talking at the hilton (which we did tonight) to blasting music in the car and singing to our song (the best day). I know i can always go to you with anything thats on my mind or just have a girl day. Love you to the northern star and back!
-Maddy Rae <3
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